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This is Jeanette writing here today! I've swapped my blog with RLM for the day... and it's actually the first time I've written on another person's blog (and I'm sure this is the first time that RLM's had a South African guest posting)! Anyhoo, on with the story...
My son is 5 years old and in pre-school at the moment, and I have the most interesting conversations with him. The conversations are starting to get tough. Some of his questions aren't easy anymore. Last night, while he was in the bath, he started talking about his day at school and he told me about a boy in his class, C.
According to Bradley, C was telling lies. But the question is, was he really?
Bradley: "C told lies today Mom."
Me: "Really, what did he say?"
Bradley: "He said that he doesn't have a Mommy and a Daddy.... that's a lie ... that's naughty hey? We all told him he was lying."
Me: "Are you sure he was lying?"
Bradley: "Yes, he HAS to have a Mommy and Daddy"
Oh crumbs ... one of those conversations!! My heart just sank. I find these really tough to deal with. I hate exposing him to the ugly parts of life, but realistically I'm the best person to tell him these things. Now I've never met C, but there must be adopted kids in his class or at least, in his year. I've seen a black kid with white parents that drop him off, so there's at least one adopted kid. I could just imagine this poor kid trying to get the others to understand.
Me: "Maybe he doesn't. Not all children have got Mommies and Daddies. Sometimes children are looked after by other people too. Maybe he lives with his aunty and uncle? Did he say what happened to his Mommy and Daddy?"
Bradley: "No, but I've seen the lady that picks him up, and he calls her Mommy"
Oh boy, now it's getting more complicated. I explained why he would call her Mommy even if she wasn't his real Mommy, but I don't think he understood. I ended the conversation by telling Bradley that if it is a lie, then it's one of the worst kind of lies to tell. Can you imagine being the parent of a child who tells stories like that at the age of 5!? The mind boggles. I think I'm going to have to ask the teacher tomorrow actually. Because if it is true, and he wants the other kids to understand, then I think she should help explain it to all of them. And if it's not true, then C needs to understand why it's not a joke to lie about things like that.
The end.
Wow. What a tough thing to explain...how sad if the little boy really doesn't have a Mom and Dad, but that isn't good to lie about if he does! Hard situation. I think you handled it well. I'd probably follow up with the teacher too though, just in case. Great post! Nice to "meet" you over here at RLM's.
ReplyDeletewow, did you find out the truth in the end?
ReplyDeleteThat is so hard. I used to teach Sunday school to Grade R and Grade 1 and those kids had all those type of questions. How can someone not have food or a house or a mom and a dad?
ReplyDeleteIt was so hard to explain that to them at that time and I still don't have the right answer!
I've got a grand idea. If Megan starts asking these questions I'm gonna send her to you!!!!!