Thursday, April 2, 2009

Good enough

I am perfectionist by nature. I flourish in having a small number of things to focus on which I can give my all to -- work, relationships, parenting, hobbies.

Frazzled, out of control, spinning, exhausted, unfocused ... all of the lovely feelings I experience when I start to get spread too thin and am unable to give 100% to each of my responsibilities. This is how I am feeling right now.

Divorce. Parenting. Finances. Twelve demanding clients. This blog. Twitter. Facebook. Laundry. Dishes. Taxes. Bills. Friends. Oh yeah, and I think I will be moving back in with my parents.

Something has gotta give! But, what?

I am learning to ask for help. I am accepting that I can't do all of this alone. What I am having a hard time accepting is that I can't give 100% to everything. That would put me at 1400% ... not humanly possible!

So, I have two mottoes I have am trying to work into my vocabulary ...

1. Easy does it.

Stress is not going to make my situation better. It will simply give me an even bigger headache than I am already fighting. I can't run away, but a quick holiday might help give me the break I need.

2. Good enough.

I can prioritize my list of "to dos," but need to come to terms that things are not going to get done as quickly as I want them to or exactly how I want them done. The one thing this will require is me learning how to set expectations properly. For example, how to tell Princess D "Mama will buy you that movie only if there is money left over after the grocery store trip" or "No, you can't wear that dress today because Mama needed to take a shower last night instead of running the washing machine, but maybe I won't take a shower tonight so you can wear it tomorrow."

Those two little quotes seem so simple to do, but when you are a perfectionist by nature instead of trying work these quotes I am actually trying to put the perfect definition for them in this post instead of sleeping. Well, at least I am trying!


  1. I have slipped quite a lot from my world as a perfectionist, but wouldn't advise the route that got me here.

    Good luck on spreading yourself happily. (That sounds rude, but isn't meant that way)

  2. First step is realization, right? Good for you for understanding what is and what isn't possible.

    And the quality time D will get with her grandparents is invaluable!!! (I know this is a hard step, but I think it's a good one for now.)

  3. One step at a time and you are certainly on the right path. :)

  4. I def suffer from trying to be a perfectionist and it always leaves me feeling defeated and empty.. I feel like I am always letting someone down..

    Like Hockeyman step at a time for sure is the only way to go..maybe I should try it too. :)

  5. Good luck - and just try to remember what's most important to you at the end of the day, love. One foot in front of the other, one step at a time. *hugs

  6. One moment at a time, that's all. Im learning to do it. You can do it better than I can. ;)


  7. Trying is 90% of the battle, isn't it?

  8. You're doing great. Just breathe.