Since I haven't been writing lately I was seriously considering the June NaBloPoMo challenge to kick the right side of my brain back into gear. This month's challenge is to find a hero for each day of the month ... 30 heroes ... easy! A man I have been spending time with was helping me put together my list of heroes so that I could get a head start on the month long challenge. As I rambled off my list of friends, family and celebrities I realized they were all women. Women who in my eyes have heroic qualities - virtue, loyalty, intelligence, fighter, honesty, strength, perseverance, commitment, inspiration, human kindness. What was peculiar is that I didn't have one man on my list other than the obvious (my dad) and I really couldn't think of any other men.
I come from a family that consists of primarily females (32 of them to be exact) and a culture where the woman is the matriarch while the man is the breadwinner. I was fascinated with the woman's role in the family, workplace and world. When I was at university I got my minor in gender studies (a.k.a. feminism). I studied women in politics, art & culture, the corporate world and in religion. I read books about female statistics, historical changes and stereotypes. Now, as a single mom who works full time and was the breadwinner I naturally gravitate to female role models.
I had 6 more heroes I had to find, so my friend challenged me to find 6 men who I would consider my heroes. So, what's the problem? I took a shower (my favorite thinking spot) after we hung up and I started to really think about our conversation. What I realized is that to me a man not only has to have qualities x, y & z, but also qualities a - w to qualify to be considered my hero. One misstep will strike him from my list of heroes.
HBO did a series on John Adams ... I watch it and was amazed by his virtue, yet to me it was his wife Abigail who was the real hero in the story. He depended on her in almost ever decision he ever made.
Does this make me a sexist? Do I simply set the bar way to high? Has feminism ruined my views of men? Has my heart been let down so many times that I simply expect males heroes to let me down so I simply don't include them?
Well, it is time to change that! Here are 6 men who are my heroes ...
1) My dad. He has set the bar for any man in my book. He is a loving husband, a supportive father, a gentle and fun grandfather, and a war hero. He is athletic, handy, meticulous, intelligent, dependable ... the list goes on.
2) My X's brother. He sacrificed his health and personal needs for his father without expectation or ego.
3) Michael J. Fox. Even through his health issues he represents strength, a dedicated husband and father, professionalism and generosity.
4) Ronald Regan. Actor to respected politician. A loving husband. A public face representing a disease that was relatively unknown.
5) The Dalai Lama. Do I really need to give an explanation for why he is one of my heroes?
6) The man who challenged me to come up with this list. He always strives to challenge himself to make his life better, fulfill every promise he makes, and is a true gentleman. He inspires me.
Now I challenge you to tell me your heroes of the opposite sex and why.
