Tuesday, March 31, 2009

First Sight

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who mentioned that he had in fact fallen in love with a woman at first sight. I couldn't believe him. Well ... actually I didn't think I could believe anyone (especially a man) who would tell me that they had fallen in love at first sight. Lust maybe, but not real love. So, I asked him to tell me what exactly had happened ...

He was walking into a bar with a friend when he saw her. She was sitting at a table with some friends. He could hear that her laugh was sincere and honest. He could see that her smile was warm and not pretentious. With that one glimpse of her smile and seeing the glimmer in her eye he had fallen. She had stolen his heart and knocked him off his feet. Unable to take his gaze from her he told his friend "I am in love." Of course, like any normal person his friend just laughed it off and ordered them beers. But, my friend was not kidding.

He told me that he didn't care if she ever fell in love with him he simply had to have her in his life in some way shape or form. After a bribe from his friend and surviving a nervous break down my friend got the courage to talk to her. He got her number and in one look and 2.5 months of dating he is 100% certain that this is the woman he is meant to spend the rest of his life with.

The more I listened to him the more I was convinced. Love at first sight does exist. Even more convincing is that a recently a study proved that men can fall in love in 10 seconds.

So, what about women? I think the only thing I have fallen in love with at first sight is a pair of killer BCBG patten leather peep toe stilettos. Love for me is something that develops from long conversations about life and feelings and passions and dreams. Women are simply more complicated yet we want that knight in shining armor to sweep us off our feet and ride us off into the sunset.

So, to the girl who caught my friend's eye ... you are on the brink of your own personal fairytale, the perfect story to tell your children when they ask how mommy and daddy met, the chance for a real life happily ever after. You have got to be one of luckiest girls on this planet.

I wonder what her secret is?!?!?!?!


  1. Wow. 10 seconds, as long as that?

  2. I agree, 10 seconds has to be a record!

  3. I wonder what her secret is as well - I feel in love at first sight - for my first love and he with me - it was a glorious 3 years - but like many things passionate it was over after the passion waned and real life snuck in.

  4. 10 seconds is ages - I would argue it is less than that for a guy to decide if he wants someone in his life!

    Also, completely not related to your blog; I noticed the closing line on the article which says that women can gaze at a man regardless of if she is attracted to him or not. Can any of you lovely ladies out there offer a reason why that is?

  5. I guess it all depends on what your definition of love is. Can I determine if I'm attracted to someone in 10 seconds or less? Yes. But I rack that up to infatuation and chemistry. While those two things are awesome, they're not what sustains a relationship.

    To me, love isn't a feeling. It's an action. It's a decision. It's a commitment. It goes beyond what strikes my fancy. It's not a fickle gift. So, to decide to love in 10 seconds or less, while wildly romantic, seems impulsive and emotionally dangerous.

    That said, I hope your friend and his princess have all of the happiness of a fairytale romance. Far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade.

    To answer Charlie's question about how women can gaze at a man even though we may not be interested in him...that's easy. We're probably either plotting our exit strategy or calculating whether we have a friend we can set him up with.

  6. Love. It's all screwed up if you ask me. But dont ask me. I have no right to speak of it right now.

    As for whoever this girl is, she IS lucky. I'm sure she wished for your friend. I hope that as sure as he is in his convictions, that he loves her forever, treats her how she deserves to be treated, and KNOWS every day how lucky HE is.

    I mean, that's what I would want in a man who feels as strongly for me as you describe your friend.


  7. Beer and DiapersMarch 31, 2009

    I fell in 'love' at first site once. It was a passionate affair but not the right fit for the rest of my life. Sometimes the relationships that fulfill an instinctual passion or inspire the heart to dance don't work out as one's partner for life. With my husband - I fell in love over time and my love for him is still growing. Maybe that's better for me over the long term.

  8. I'd have to say men can fall in lust in as little as .10 seconds. Yes, with the decimal. Love? I don't think so. At least not "take a bullet for you" true love. But I am a coldhearted cynic when it comes to that...

  9. RLM...have you forgotten that your Dad and Mom were blind dates and fell in love at first sight?! We dated for a couple of months before the Army got him and shipped him to Vietnam. It was another 9 months of correspondence courtship. We wrote about our hopes, our dreams and planned our future. As you know, we got married while he was on a 5 day R&R in Hawaii. Everyone thought it was a reckless and impulsive decision. This year will be our 40th anniversary. No, it isn't easy. We've had our ups and downs but our mutual respect and love survived after the lust.

  10. 10 seconds, eh? No pressure there at all - let me buy stock in concealer right now.

    I'm willing to bet, all kidding aside that the woman he saw across the room was being authentic, with a sparkling personality that just begged to be known. I've never been subject to, or the subject of, such a thing, but I can picture it, in a Hollywood lens sort of way.

  11. I wish I'd known that quickly. It took me months to fall in love with my husband.