Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My wish

Since November 1, 2008 I have been wearing a Dogeared make a wish necklace. Five days prior to me purchasing this necklace I had my X served with divorce papers. I know it sounds silly to place a wish on a simple silk string and silver charm, but this necklace served as a daily reminder of what I was working towards ... a new beginning to grow into the woman and the life I have always wanted.

At the time I purchased this necklace I really didn't know what I wanted, so I made a wish to find happiness and true love whether or not that was with my X. The hope of making my marriage work faded with time. Distance didn't make my heart grow fonder instead it opened my eyes to the fact that my X and I really are so very different ... like oil and water ... and the only thing keeping us held together is our daughter.

Every week I have been seeing a therapist and attending a support group. I have been writing and thinking whenever my brain has a free moment. I have been facing the harsh realities of my financial ruin. I have been reconnecting with my family and friends. I have been looking at myself in the mirror and getting in front of the camera again. And, I have opened up my heart allowing love in.

Over these past six months I have come to realize that I was not only unhappy with my X, but I was unhappy with myself. I did not love who I had become. It is time for me to find my strength and beauty in order to find real happiness and true love. Sunday night after a long shower (the place I do my best thinking) my make a wish necklace fell off.

wishes coming true


I was a bit surprised at first thinking that maybe the clasp simply opened up. But there was the lotus flower charm laying on the floor and the silk string split in the middle. Was my wish granted just like that? Poof ... I am happy and in love! The fact is life is just not that simple. I am happier and I do love myself more every day, but is still an uphill battle that I know I can handle now. In a way my wish has been granted. I know my own strength and beauty. Now it is up to me to continue to grow into that lotus flower.

12 comments:

  1. Hi RLM,
    It is great to hear that you are growing into the person you want to be and that you know you can overcome the struggles set before you.
    You go girl! Don't give up!! (",)

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  3. That is a lovely symbol of you growing to love yourself more (does that sound right?).

    And I second what Charlie said.

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  4. More. Power. To. You!!!

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  5. A sentiment I share. This is one of the main reasons I follow your blog, because I recently traveled a very similar path and now, over 3 years since my husband and I parted, I finally feel like I have become my own person, a new person, the person I once knew I could be, but I had forgotten. You're on the road to wonderful things. :)

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  6. sounds like things are good! btw, none of this sounds silly.

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  7. You could always take it as a sign, I suppose, that you don't need the necklace anymore to be reminded of what you're working toward.

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  8. you are amazing and strong!

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  9. Things always happen for a reason. Now, to just find out what the symbolism really was - your realization? The ability to love the new you you're becoming? To open yourself to others and allow them to love you, properly?

    Only time shall tell.

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  10. Oooh. I like that necklace...and I think the symbolic is perfect here...

    hugs

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  11. I had one of these when I was hoping/ planning to leave my last job. Still trying to find my place in life, but it was definitely right for me to leave that situation.

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  12. Red Lotus Mama-what a beautiful and amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing your journey of growth, and allowing Dogeared Jewelry to be a symbolic figure on your path of embracing one of the most important loves out there-loving yourself!

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