Monday, June 15, 2009

Not My Dream House

This weekend Princess D was with her dad so I took the opportunity to continue the slow move from my condo to my parents' home. The darling (and incredibly HAWT) Miss came down with her dad's gigantic truck to help me pack up some of my stuff and move it all in to storage. She is one of the best friends a girl could ever have. She got up at the crack of dawn to be here bearing an earl grey tea latte with vanilla soy milk for me and ready to work.

We spent the morning pulling pictures off the walls and going through my dining room cabinet before my parents came over with all of the packing material. I always joke that my home looks like a daycare -- kid size art easel, toy boxes, Dora castle, Princess tea set all gracing my tiny living room. Now that I have taken down and packed up all of the "grown up" decor my house looks even more like a daycare. Other than the large furniture pieces there is no other signs that an adult lives in this house.

To show my gratitude for all of Miss' help I treated her to dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger (if you haven't eaten there step away from your computer, get in the car and go to the one closest to you ... you won't be sorry) and to see UP in 3-D. (I can't believe that the last time I saw a movie in 3-D was Captain EO at Disneyland ... I am that old.) This movie is about a man who marries his child sweetheart. They buy their dream home and grow old in it together, filling it with a lifetime of love and memories (I don't want to give away much more if you haven't seen it yet). This movie was so incredibly heartwarming and hopeful ... I had no idea that it would pull at my heartstrings the way it did!

Yesterday morning when I went downstairs to get a glass of water I noticed the strange echo in the house due to the now blank walks and minimal furniture. It dawned on me that I am vacating the only home I have ever owned. Even though it is not my "dream home" it was mine ... "ours" actually. Since I met my X I have not stayed in any one home more than 2 years straight until we bought this condo. The first house my parents bought they owned for 34 years. So, I had always pictured by now I would own a nice size house with my sweetheart in a good neighborhood where we would raise our kids and in filling it with a lifetime of love and memories ... like my parents ... like the movie. Sad how dreams (and movies) don't always translate in to reality.

I don't know when or if I will own my dream house or that I will ever get a chance to live in one home for many years like my parents did, but it is time to create new dreams and this time make them come true.


  1. You will, Mama. I will fully admit that I BALLED when I saw UP and interestingly I saw it with B and his dad. It was very emotional as we both sat there thinking the same thing - childhood dreams, shattered. It required a hand holding moment. That alone gave me hope that even when two people don't realize their dream together, the dream can still be realized as long as there are people loving and supporting one another like you write about Miss doing for you. The fact that there is kindness in the world gives me hope, and I have no doubt in my mind that the kindness you show to others will allow you to realize bigger and better dreams for yourself. Thanks as always for the great writing...

  2. Hi RLM,

    By the sounds of it I need to see UP - it sounds like a great film and I havent been to the cinema in ages (the last film I saw at the cinema was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!)

    I can relate to feeling of not having a home to grow old in and make your own. For the longest time that is all I desired but I have come to realise that (while it is still a goal of mine) my home is not the property I own, but the place I can relax, enjoy good times with my boy and be surrounded by loved ones - A place to make great memories everyday.

    I am waiting for life to grant me an opportunity to move my home to a property where I can live my life with my love and our kids!

    Regardless if a dream is fulfiled the first time around, as long you believe, stay true to your dreams and with the support of Miss and your parents (as Jamie said very well), I am sure it will all work out.

    It is hard at times, I struggle often but I always have faith and know I will achieve the life I am working towards! I would love to read what your new dreams are sometime!

  3. AnonymousJune 15, 2009

    Yeah for Miss! I wish I could have been there to help.

    Don't worry about not being in your dream home yet. Home is where you make your dreams come true, regardless of what it looks like or where it is.

  4. dood! Miss is the BOMB! Heh.

    You left out the very important looking up of love horPOscopes, eating FAR too much, quoting Clueless at midnight, and laughing. Oh. The laughing.

    "Aww you're so cute and deaf!" Still snorting about that.

  5. "Home is where the heart is" can build a palace, but if the people you love and care for are not there, it might as well be a dungeon! At the moment I am sure you find your dream so far fetch, but it is coming. Just keep your dreams alive and focus on the good. Rid yourself of all the negative elements and plan, plan, plan for the future.

    Miss...the world needs more caring people like you. Thank you for being a good friend. How lucky we are to have you in our lives.

  6. Oh, I get that. The wanting to own your own place and raising your children and happy memories in a place that you'll own forever. Oh <3.

    My parents split a little while ago, and now the house I grew up in is being sold, so I get how precious dreams like that can be.

    I love that you still have hope for your dreams, and if they don't work for you, you plan to create new dreams. That's really awesome, hey. Go you :)

  7. someday you will. Also, I don't think there's a Cheeburger Cheeburger anywhere near my hole in the wall.

  8. without dreams our lives are barren. Maybe our initial dreams break into nothing but if we look around us we can see how blessed we are and make new dreams.