Monday, January 19, 2009

Boxed In

Most long time bloggers get to a point in their "career" where they seriously consider "pulling the plug" on their beloved corner of the internet. My point happened this week. Earlier in the week the light inside of me was brighter than it has been in a long time. When I returned to reality it felt like people were trying to pull the plug on my light. I spent yesterday morning in tears agonizing "what is the point". My finger tips were prepared to delete my Blogger, Twitter, Plurk, Facebook and even email accounts. Just wipe the internet clean of Red Lotus Mama. I felt like I was put in a box and the sides were getting sealed shut.

Side #1 - Never expose my full name, Princess D's full name or anyone in my family's full name. Never expose my address OR even exactly where I live in San Diego.

Side #2 - Never mention the name of the company I work for or any details about the goings on in the office. I wouldn't want to get fired over anything I mention here since some of my co-workers read ... HI GUYS! Plus, do you really want to read about my boring office job? Didn't think so.

Side #3 - Never post about where I am at the present moment if I am at a location of significance. What I mean by that is if I was at or going to Disneyland or staying at a hotel I wouldn't post about it until AFTER it happened.

Side #4 - Never meet people you meet online. Why? Because who knows if people are really telling the truth about who they are. Maybe everything I write about is fictional just to gain more readers. Maybe I'm really a MAN!

Side #5 - Never air "dirty laundry". This is a tough one. WHOSE dirty laundry can't I post about and WHY? Well, because no one wants to be judge by all of you even though some of you have no idea in real life who I am writing about. So, I am stuck writing about MY dirty laundry which compared to most is not that dirty, but interesting enough (I hope).

Side #6 - Never show too many photos of your kid because someone might be are trolling the internet in search of the "perfect subject" to feature on their child pornography website. Easy enough ... I never post photos of my kid in her skivvies, naked in the bathtub, or standing in front of a sign which could give her location away.

With that last side the box is shut ... but, the only one who could seal it is me. Other than my daughter, my family and my friends (real life and virtual), and my job (YES, my job makes me happy) there is not much more in life that make me feel really alive. This blog is my creative release. It is gives me the chance to actually make a small dent in this world if I can help raise some money for a good cause, make someone feel stronger, or rethink about themselves, or simply make someone smile. To extinguish this part of my life would be unfair.

To quote one of my favorite corporate sayings ... Think OUTSIDE the box. If you haven't noticed already I write with discretion. If I posted my real life story I would probably get get 40,000 readers and an article in People magazine (see the January 26, 2009 issue, page 109). I am not going to stop writing. I will respect the people who would like me to seal up my little box and see my light fade into the dull glow it used to be. But, Red Lotus Mama is not getting deleted. I am simply going to start writing OUTSIDE the box.

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  1. You are so NOT allowed to shut down your blog, ever. K? Make it private if you have to , but please don't make it GONE! *hugs*

    (Ps what's going on? Email me!)

  2. you can't shut down!! and definitely not let outsiders influence your decision to write and what to write about. BTW a while ago I blogged about my hubby getting "snipped" and a buddy/coworker ended up reading my blog. damn was hubby pissed I put that out for the world to see. i told him get over it, i am a writer.

  3. Ditto to Dina & Ashley! I can guess who is/are responsible for you feeling this way! It is a control issue compounded by resentment and jealousy. The most dangerous people I know are relatives and neighbors!

  4. Dear RLM, Good for you. I don't hide - well, I kinda sorta do - I mean, I don't announce my name and address every day, but by now every one of my readers kows who I am, where I live, how old I am, how many sons I have, which one is married and a whole bunch of other stuff.

    Ya know what? I ain't worried. I know, women have special concerns and I agree absolutely. But I still don't think that's a reason to construct that whole big box around yourself.

    I met a blogger, recently. I had an afternoon coffee with her, her husband, her mother-in-law and my wife. We had a GREAT time. She was JUST as she seemed to be online - and she felt that same about me.

    It was cool. Break out baby.

  5. I can, without a doubt, promise everyone here and now that RLM is NOT a man. Nope. Not at all. *eyebrow wiggle*

    I love you babe. All this shit? It's just that. Shit. At the end of the day, we shared a glass of wine and we laughed and our babies had fun together. If you didn't blog, that never would have happened.

  6. I JUST got here. I JUST subscribed to your feed. DONT wuss out, seriously.

  7. You can't go bye bye. I'd be so sad. and If they featured you, I might actually buy one of those tabby rags ;-)

    Butonly for you!

  8. We are supposed to hide our full name, location, and whereabouts? Not post pictures of our children? Not write about anyone else but us?

    Damn, I'm breaking all the rules. ;)

  9. Wha Wha Whaaaa? Dude. You've totally got me panicked. I'm so sorry something so horrible has apparently happened to you to make you consider this as an option.

    I certainly hope we can still get together when I'm in town.


  10. I have most of the same rules except for meeting people because I've met the coolest people! I did broadcast where we were during the move only because Tom was with me and because we were a moving target. Otherwise, nope, still don't. I feel safer this way. That's me. You need to do what works for you. Just don't pull the plug! (please)

  11. I know #5 is coming down soon, but in a sensitive, non-hurtful way. Unlike some of us. (Us meaning me)

    You be, and let your blog be, whatever you want it to. Boxes not needed.

  12. yikes. i am fairly new to your blog and have enjoyed it so far. i hope you never quit. sounds like something bad has happened to you. sorry about that.