Thursday, November 4, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 4

I have told very few people about this, but it has plagued me for 20 years. When I was in high school I made the very stupid mistake of losing my virginity to a boy I didn't even really like. My best friend (at the time) and her boyfriend had already "done it" and somehow convinced me that I should too with one of his friends. To this day the memory of that afternoon is so clear. They arranged the whole thing. I remember when the boy dropped me off afterwards he said without an ounce of happiness "I guess we are going out now."

For a couple months the four of us were inseparable. The movies, the mall, school dances … double dates where ever we would go. I thought that this was that high school was all about. Who cared if this boy didn't really like me as long as I had a boyfriend and was popular.

Then something changed. I still don't know what happened to cause it. All I know is that I showed up at school and my "best friend" had told everyone that I was no longer a virgin and at lunch time the boy broke up with me in front of everyone. The next few months were hell. I was teased and bullied. Rumors were made up about me. I didn't know who my real friends were. From that point independence became my only security and did everything I could to just blend in.

Eventually some other high school drama took the focus off of me, but I never really recovered from the bullying and teasing. I remember waking up in the middle of the night about 10 years ago sobbing because I dreamt about when my "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Christmas gift wrapped locker door was defaced with the words "Yes, you are." So many of my problems now stemmed for that time. There are a lot of people who took part in the bullying, but my so called "best friend" was behind it all and to this day I have never forgiven her.

As a parent I worry every day about Princess D being a victim of bullying, or even worse, taking part in bullying someone else. Join me in making an effort to help prevent bullying.

Learn more about these two projects:
30 Days of Truth
National Blog Posting Month