Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pinup

On Friday, while driving to work I listened to my favorite morning talk show of a local radio station. Some of the hosts had gotten boudoir photos taken. I remember a few years back a friend of mine had boudoir photos taken as part of her wedding album. All of her bridesmaids featured in their lingerie -- the skinny ones, the voluptuous ones, even the pregnant one -- and they all looked gorgeous!

When I was a teenager I found my dad's stack of hidden Playboy magazines. After I recovered from the shock that my dad even had them I found myself shocked that these women were so confident with their bodies to expose themselves to perfect strangers. Then when The X subscribed to Playboy I almost felt relieved that he (or any past boyfriend for that matter) never asked for photos like these of me.

Why? I have always thought about the idea of taking provocative photos for a loved one, but never had the courage to do it. As you know I lack a bit of self confidence in my physical appearance. Being photographed in a bathing suit is more than I can handle. The idea of boudoir or nude photos of myself would send me into an unrecoverable anxiety attack. I have always been so afraid of that special person not liking what they saw in the photos, or worse, liking what they saw in the photos but not liking what they saw in reality.

The fact is the boudoir photos and the Playboy photos are all professionally taken. Perfect lighting, expensive lingerie, posed in unnatural positions to accentuate and flatter, and every flaw airbrushed out. I don't have the money for professional photographs to be taken. I am subject to my "lack there of" lighting, my "not expensive" lingerie, awkward poses because I am the one holding the camera and no Photoshop. One of my favorite movie monologue from Beautiful Girls says it all!

Then there is the fear of my the photos popping up on some random website or getting accidentally forwarded to my entire address book. Remember Vanessa Hudgens' embarrassing mistake of sending a nude photo of herself on her cell phone that got out to the public. At least she has a body to die for. I have a 33 year old post baby body complete with pot belly and stretch marks. I would be devastated beyond repair if my naughty photos got into the wrong hands.

After listening to my morning radio show and watching back to back seasons of Sex and the City (thank you Miss for loaning me your DVD collection) I have come to the conclusion that the trick to taking these types of photos would be that I have to unconditionally love and trust the person I am taking them for. The flaws I see in myself he would actually find beautiful. The thought of his reaction instead of my actual confidence would be what fuels my willingness to take them. So, maybe my future mister might be so lucky to receive a naughty photo from me ... maybe.

9 comments:

  1. What a lucky guy your Mister would be but more importantly, you go girl! Be confident with yourself and how you look, your guaranteed to be sexier than you ever though possible!

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  2. Oh honey, if I had half of what you do...there would be billboards! Go for it and have fun!

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  3. What a wonderful post, especially because it is about such a personal topic. I think the key to this sort of thing is confidence, but also? Any man who loves you would be happy to receive them, I'm sure.

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  4. We had this conversation. CURSE YOU VICTORIA SECRET FOR HAVING SHITTY LINGERIE.

    Ahem. I've so taken some BTW. Get me drunk and I'll show you.

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  5. Hey, I actually do boudoir photos for super cheap, not to sound like a spam bot or anything. Seriously though, I'm your woman if you're ever wanting to look like a Playboy model.

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  6. Yeah, I pretty much won't ever take pictures like that. I'm a prude.

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  7. My man likes my "tiger stripes" [ie stretch marks]. & mine aren't even from being pg.
    I'm sure when you find the person that loves you that much, he'll be thrilled to have whatever you will share with him.
    That wedding album sounds pretty awesome! :D

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  8. um, I have a digital camera. If you need, um, practice?

    DELETE DELETE DELETE!! haha

    ;) Last Emperor

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  9. Here's the deal with those photos. Most of them is about playing with contrast and cropping after the fact, and playing with knowing that any man who sees them (who you *want* to see them, that is) will rise to the occasion.

    For serious - and I'm sorry to be so graphic, but it's true - just like blowjobs, over half of half-naked photos is enthusiasm. If you really 'get into it' you will be. And then it will be 100% good.

    But no pressure. :)

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